went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Do vagina's smell?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize