SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
