remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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