I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
