what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
