Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
