Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
