the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
