I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
