Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
