You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
