and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Houston, we have a squirter
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
