it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
