Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
