fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
