just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Be still, my beating vagina.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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