in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
