Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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