She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
