is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
