how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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