OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
