I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
