Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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