ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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