Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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