this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
