I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can't turn off my feet"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
