You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
