If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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