Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
