I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize