thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i think my cat just said my name.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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