The best revenge is premature balding
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
