So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
