i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
