Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
