Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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