I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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