For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
this is an emotional support booty call
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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