I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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