Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
