Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
