what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
