the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize