Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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