A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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