Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize