Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
