Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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