How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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