i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
honey bunches of taint.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
