If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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