im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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