she looked like the bat from fern gully.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
