She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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