Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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