is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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