I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
