The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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