Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
